


Sam's Breakdown

by x_sastiel_are_my_fathers_x



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Spoon Castiel, Castiel Loves Sam Winchester, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Castiel/Sam Winchester, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Castiel (Supernatural), Grieving Sam Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Little Spoon Sam Winchester, M/M, Sam Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent, Temporary Character Death, Top Castiel/Bottom Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:46:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_sastiel_are_my_fathers_x/pseuds/x_sastiel_are_my_fathers_x
Summary: Sam doesn't take Jack's death well. Will Sam be able to cope with the loss of his surrogate son? Will Dean and Cas be able to help Sam before it's too late?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underlined words means prayers
> 
> Bolded words are notes
> 
> xxxxx is to separate the scenes
> 
> Italicized means a persons thoughts

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The three of them stood in the bunkers hallway just outside of Jack's room. Sam and Cas leaning against the wall across from eachother and Dean standing with his his arms crossed in the middle of them. All with eyes full of extreme loss and greif, but Sam most out of them all. He looks down as he goes through the events that had happened just minutes ago. _Jack_. He takes in a shaky breath before looking up and over at Dean.

Dean stares back worried, but still goes on about what they should do. "Maybe we should...start thinking about next steps. Wake and a bonfire. Hunter style. It's what Jack would've wanted." He looks over to Cas to check his opinion on it, but sees him shaking his head agreeing with him.

Sam not being able to deal with this right now, bounces his leg a little, contemplating on whether to stay or not. He decides on the latter, shaking his head before quickly walking away.

"Sam," Cas tries to go after him, but Dean stops him with a hand gripping his shoulder. "Your brother's in pain."

He says still wanting to go after Sam.

Dean gives him a slightly pained look "Just let him be. If he needs his space, we're gonna give it to him."

Cas stares at Dean for a minute, before shrugging off Dean's hand. "He shouldn't have to deal with this alone." He says before taking off after Sam anyway.

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**(Sam's POV)**

Two minutes later he's walking up the stairs of the bunker to go out. As he's about to reach the top of the steps, he feels someone grab his hand. He quickly turns ready for a fight, but instead of a monster he finds Cas looking at him with concern and sorrow.

"Sam, are you okay?" Cas questions, but already knowing the answer. _No. Not At All._ He wants to scream. _How could I possible be okay, after...after that?_

He's barely able to look at the angel. Jack looks just like him. He pauses for a second, and almost breaks down then and there. He realizes that he won't ever get to see Jack smile again. His cute, innocent smile. He won't ever get to hear him laugh again. He won't get to spend time with him again.

It hasn't even been 15 minutes and he's already going insane without the kid. _My kid._ He realizes. _I just lost My Kid._

With that thought, barely registering Cas attempting to get his attention, he somewhat violently pulls his hand back and run out the door.

 _My Kid_.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Sam arent dating yet in this by the way. It will develop as they go. I'm mainly going to focus on the parentson relationship between Cas, Sam and Jack, but there will be many Sastiel scenes throughout. Hope you like it! :)


	2. Chapter 2

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  **(Castiel's POV)**

He quickly turns from Dean to go after Sam. He tries the library first. Then Sam's room. He starts to go to the kitchen when he hears foot steps in the map room. He swiftly turns the corner to find Sam walking up the stairs to the door, with a duffle bag haning from his shoulder.

"Sam!" He calls but the hunter doesnt seem to hear him. He runs up the steps and softly but firmly grips the hunters wrist. Sam turns around violently, looking ready to attack.

He gazes at him with concern "Sam, are you okay?" he asks. He knows its a stupid question as well as Sam does, but it slips out before he can help it.

He can see Sam's cloud over with a sea of emotions. _Anger. Sorrow. Longing. Pain. Loss. Guilt_. The last was the most prominent.

Sam looks at him for a second before quickly moving his gaze around the room. Anywhere but at me. He thought sadly.

He watches as Sam's expression floods with guilt and some determination. Sam quickly turns and yanks his hand out of his grip.

"Sam, wait. Please!"

But the young hunter doesnt seem to hear him, he keeps walking up the steps and out the bunker door.

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**(Sam's POV)**

Sam pushes the door of the bunker open to go outside, and takes out the keys to the impala that he picked up on the way out.

He strolls over to the impala, not hearing the footsteps behind him. Just as he is about to open the trunk to throw his bag in he feels the same calloused hand as before grab his hands and turn him around.

"Sam." The deep gravelly voice calls.

He looks up from the ground slightly to see Cas again. This time his face full of stubborness.

"Sam, I know your hurting. And I know it feels like its never going to be okay again. I promise you over time it will, over time. But for you to get better you can't just run and block out your emotions. You have to talk. Its okay to not always be okay. Its okay to be upset over this. I know how you feel. He was a son to me too, Sam. I love and miss Jack just as much as you do. So please, let me help."

Sam just stares at him for a few seconds, barely able to move, before his face crumbles and he drops his bag onto the muddy ground. He feels somethinng running down his cheek, then his other. _When did I start crying?_ Everything that has happened finally catches up to him and he hardly feels his leg give out from under him. The young hunter feels someone catch him and pull him against their chest.

"I can't Cas, I can'- he's- i just. God I just want him back." He buries his face into the angels neck, and is silent for a few minutes.

"Is this what it feels like?" The hunters hoarse but quiet voice asks.

"What, what feels like?" the angel questions softly.

"Loosing a son."

And with that Castiel hugs him tighter and Sam can no longer hold back his sobs.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it takes me long to update the chapter of this story and my other ones. Its hard for me to come up with exactly what I want to happen and how to phrase it. Sorry again. Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
